Keeping You Ahead of the Curve: Is Howard Dean Reading MY Blog?

Howard Dean read Obama\'s Hatchet Man for His Talking Points

As my many loyal readers will recall, on Monday I wrote the blog entitled McCain: Dirty Money Lobbyist Whore Videos where I joked about LobbyistGate and McCain saying…

“But all this gets even more confusing when you realize that it was campaign manager Rick Davis, stake holder in lobbying firm Davis Manafort, whom McCain has cleaning his house of lobbyists! Rick took the bold stance of either resigning or severing ties with lobbying firms. Wow, bold move… but ultimately tantamount to having a wolf guarding the hen house.”

Lo and behold, I get a blast email from Howard Dean today that starts out:

“I’ve got a joke for you.

Last week, John McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, sent a memo to the McCain campaign staff about a brand new “conflicts policy”

Here’s the punch line: Rick Davis, author of the memo and the person in charge of finding these “conflicts” within the campaign, founded his own lobbying firm, and, according to the Politico, “has made at least $2.8 million lobbying Congress since 1998.”

John McCain’s commitment to keeping Washington lobbyists out of his campaign is a joke — but it’s not funny. It’s shocking.”

Don’t you forget, you heard it here first folks! But Howard Dean knows he has free license to borrow from me whenever he wants. As a former moonlighter at the DNC, I’ll supply Howard with his talking points. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fight the scourge that is the Republicans. (hey, it beats fighting in Iraq)

But Howard… While your letter borrowed from what I wrote about days before, my Blog was far more entertaining!!

And one more thing Obama Supporters, Politicos, Patriots, …

Now that the DNC has heard the call of blogs like mine, they’ve taken the bold step of creating a petition you can fill out calling for McCain to fire Rick Davis and Charlie Black. Just follow this link.

I’m sure McCain will be sure to add this petition to his trash can suggestion box. But hey why not support Dean’s petition, every little bit counts right?

And with Rick Davis and Charlie Black slowly being marginalized into oblivion, you know who will play an even busier roll in the campaign??? That’s right, Uncle Karl himself! (See my last blog: <a href=”https://obamashatchetman.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/scary-thought-karl-rove-will-be-mccains-brain-after-it-withers-from-his-alzheimers/”>Scary Thought: Karl Rove Will Be McCain’s Brain After It Withers From His Alzheimer’s)

As they say, the devil you know is sometimes better than the devil you don’t know in Politics. Nevertheless, scandal should never be left alone! I say off with Rick Davis and Charlie Black’s heads!!!

Off with Rick Davis and Charlie Black\'s Heads!

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DNC: Making My Job Easier

The DNC – that party organization that was a disaster in 2000 and 2004 and inexplicably allowed a village idiot from Texas to get elected over two stellar candidates – they just did something right for a change.


McCainpedia

. It sounds like some sort of mobility aid for septuagenarians who really should in a nursing home and not the White House.

In fact, its the DNC’s answer to the blogosphere’s prayers. Massive information dumps about McCain’s records available to all and that don’t require talking to the mother-ship’s little too beltway staff.

Now you too can slice and dice McCain with fact at your finger tips.

DNC\'s new McCainpedia Website

Want to look up what McCain believes about Abortion (ahem Choice)… Viola! One click and you get his mortifying track record of ultra conservativeness masquerading as a Republican moderation.

So fun, you can spend hours on it.

Quick review… I give it a 10 for effort, 6 for execution, 10 for making my life easier.

Still, I find it a little too issue oriented and lacks salient points like the fact McCain took in a little too much Jet Fuel fumes for his brains well being during the 1967 USS Forrestal Fire incident. Plus where are all the Vietnam videos where he disavows and condemns his country?

Perhaps its still early for McCainpedia and all these great nuclear mud is still being unloaded. You obviously don’t want to blow your load in May considering you have to hold on tilll November. But alas, tsk, tsk, I suspect the DNC will once again treat these things with kid gloves leaving it to truly blood thirsty hatchet men like moi to provide you with the good stuff you can mainline into your political veins.

Obama’s Hatchet Man

Tool of the Trade, except Metaphoricized

And so it begins… The humble beginning for the blog that hopes to keep John McCain up at night more than that reoccurring dream about “Charley” in the jungles of Vietnam. And believe me, aspirations are what got him through those mind altering, “Manchurian Candidate” days in the jungle – and its these same aspirations this site was founded to crush!

A little introduction, I am a hatchet man. We are a rare breed of political operatives whose job is pretty simple: scorch the political Earth with nuclear mud! But a more formal definition of this most noble of political post is in order….

Hatchet Man n. Slang
1. A man hired to commit murder. (While illuminating, not so much the definition I’m going for, except in the metaphorical sense)
2. One assigned to carry out a ruthless task or a vicious or unscrupulous order.

In other words, the hatchet man does the lords work of sorts. James Carville, Dick Morris, every Repulican on Talk Radio – these are the pantheon of greats – men who leave their scrupples at the door to achieve the highest of entertainment and greatest of service to ones country – tearing, mangling, outright destroying the candidate they oppose for the benefit of a one they look up to.

They sacrifice their reputations for the success of a candidate or ideal. The ultimate self-less act!

The best hatchet men, have the credibility to be taken seriously, the intelligence to rhetorically jujutsu their opponent, the tenaciousness and toughness of a Michael Vick pitbull on a PCP / roids cocktail, and above nothing to lose – either for them or the candidate they support. (3 out of 4 ain’t bad)

So bring on the Republican death threats, let the bashing begin, and hopefully I get a thank you note from Obama on White House stationary come January for the next six months of vitriol, nuclear mud slinging, and attacks that make Karl Rove look like a Care Bear in comparison.

Welcome to Obama’s Hatchet Man.

And may the attacks begin.

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